Baseball Play Clock, UCONN: "it's no longer a dream" and why you should stop watching the NFL for a few months

Several Thoughts:

1) The World Series

There is no possible reason that the championship for a professional sport should be this boring to watch... honestly I can't get through an entire fucking game without being forced to channel surf. I know, I know... "there's only one october!" But then again Dane Cook just did Good Luck Chuck so I'm afraid no one in their right mind considers him a good judge of what's entertaining.

Ok so let's say you still like baseball (all 4 of you). Let's say somewhere back in your childhood something happened-- like you went to a memorable playoff game-- that forever forged Major League Baseball into this hub for Nostalgia in your mind. I had a roommate once who, when he was depressed would watch the entire 1986 World Series (or whichever one the Mets miraculously won) while drinking an entire bottle of Jameson's. Yeah, that guy was creepy. Anywho, for any of you who really get fired up come playoff time here is my assignment for you: watch an entire game on Tivo (this is what I did with the phillies divisional series thwapping at the hands of the rockies) and bloop through it... the 30 sec jumps on most DVRs almost perfectly skip past the in between pitch time. You'll get through the game in an hour.

Now go back and watch a regular game... it's infuriating. It's like the late-night talk radio equivalent of tv sports. You'll suddenly become exceedingly aware that you just spent the last ten seconds looking at a wide shot of the field or at a fat pitching coach spew seeds or, god forbid, Manny Ramirez calling time for in the batter's box for the 50th time this at bat. What makes it even better is that (unlike football) there's nothing to show of any interest in between plays because most plays consist of a 2 second pitch. Seriously if you literally added up the time that the ball is in play and cut the rest of the bullshit I bet each baseball game would take less than 30 min. For games that (at least in this world series) are lasting 4 hours or more without extra innings, that is preposterous.

So what's the solution. Baseball needs a play clock plain and simple... there should be a 15 or 20 second clock behind homeplate (so the pitcher can see) that starts when he receives the ball and the pitcher must be into his wind up before it expires otherwise the batter would be awarded a ball. Furthermore, the both the batter and pitcher/catcher should be limited to 2 (or so) timeouts per at bat. Of course baseball will never adopt this sort of thing until their ratings completely drop off the map... but honestly if they want more scoring and more drama from pitch to pitch, adding a play clock and some pressure on the pitchers would certainly achieve both.

thats the last I'll talk of baseball because as you're reading this the Red Sox have already swept and no one (unless you're from boston or one of those I love Boston BW-Jumpers) including me gives a shit.

2) College Football

Sadly, 'SC is out of playoff contention (*cries a silent but savory tear*). And yet, college football is still incredibly entertaining this year.... Why? you ask. That's easy: Parity. The mid-majors are better... the perennial bottom feeders in the big conferences are better... in short anybody can beat anybody on any given saturday and no poll BCS or otherwise is safe, which is best evident in the crazy teams that have somehow taken over the national landscape and the crazy upsets they've had. If I'd have told you that a game between South Florida and Uconn would be a worthily featured game on ABC in late October you'd say I was bat-shit. And the same goes for Kentucky being LSU's only loss. Perhaps the only thing that isn't unknown this year... is that the big ten is a terrible conference. That's not to say that the Pac-10 or SEC is totally infallible but top to bottom there is no comparison. If Ohio State were in either the aforementioned leagues they'd never go undefeated (and they still might not if they lose to Illinois or Michigan both of whom are PRETTY good).

Basically, though, this is a college football fans dream year... because every team in the top 10 is still in the hunt in my opinion. Boston College (despite the fact that it seems Matt Ryan can pull Touchdown drives out of his ass at a moments notice) is clearly not that great a team and my guess is that they will be upset by one of 4 tough teams down the stretch... West Virginia is still scary but they still need to beat Uconn (I know. UCONN? craziness), and I still think LSU will lose another game (either next week at Alabama or in the SEC championship where their opponent is still very much up for grabs, Georgia anyone?) and all you LSU knob-slobbers can argue all you want on this one but LSU could have 3 losses at this point (if Les Miles' retardedly ballsy calls had cost them all three times instead of just once) .... Seriously did anyone hear Verne Lundquist proclaim "Call of the Year!" after the last second touchdown against Auburn. Are you kidding me?! That was absolute stupidity. The fact that it miraculously worked doesn't mean that the call itself wasn't idiotic... oh, and Fuck Les Miles... that guy's gonna get hammered by the same sychophantic media when one of those bad calls takes them out of the BCS title game. Come on... who runs up the middle all four downs in overtime? It's called play-action douchebag. Anywho, if I had to put money on it I'd say LSU, WVA, BC and possibly Ohio State will all lose between now and bowl season.

All that said, perhaps the biggest game of the year is next Saturday in Eugene, Oregon where the #4 Ducks play #6 ASU (AP poll #s). If ASU beats Oregon they have to leap frog any 1 loss team or the system is just wrong. They proved they can hang in big games this saturday against Cal, but Oregon is beastly. It, hopefully, will be an exciting game to watch.

Also, watch for Oklahoma/Texas A&M (who looked pretty awful until the last few minutes against Kansas) to be a big game and if Oklahoma can cruise to the Big 12 chip against (probably) Kansas, expect the winner of that game to have a huge shot at the BCS title game. All in all, each week from here on out will provide some huge games and all the Top 10 teams have a shot at a national title. Most years I'd be all but fed up with USC out of contention, but with a year like this I almost don't mind cheering for, say, Kentucky.

One final note:
Watching Tim Tebow get his shit destroyed is really a joyous experience. Come on, Urban, Tebow up the middle one more time... maybe his arm will actually detach itself from the socket this time.

3) NFL

While parity is at an all-time high in College, the NFL couldn't be farther from it. And it's not just that the great teams are that great (though obviously either the colts or the Pats will most likely win the SB), most of these teams that just can't compete are just plain bad... seriously can you remember a year where you've seen so many mediocre-bad teams in the league? Or seen fewer teams that legitimately could challenge for a SB title? or been more sure after 7 games of exactly who will make the playoffs? I can't.

Last monday (after week 7) I told a buddy of mine who I thought would make it in the AFC. Pats and Colts get byes. Charger and Steelers win their divisions. Jags and Titans get the wild cards. I will put money on that. Seriously, please place bets in the comments. Why? Because it's fucking obvious, because no one else is good. Who else is gonna make it? come on... the Chiefs? Broncos? Texans? Those teams are a joke.

The NFC is even worse though. I can't even call who will make the playoffs in the NFC because there aren't 6 good teams in the entire League... seriously, I'm sitting here writing this and the Pats are beating the Redskins 52-0, and the skins are supposed to be playoff contenders. THAT'S RETARDED. Even the Giants who are perhaps the hottest team in the NFC had trouble with the winless dolphins (God I feel bad for any ignorant Brit who went to that game. What a way to reach out to international fans... with the Dolphins). If I had to pick the playoff teams I'd go with Cowboys, Packers, Bucs, Seattle (who win by default bc who else in that division is gonna win it) as division winners and Giants and Panthers/Lions/Saints as Wildcards. I would like to count the bears in there as contenders but they just got beat by the Lions for the 2ND TIME. Lord. The Eagles beat the Lions by 50 points. Their awful! How are the Bears that bad?!

One good thing about the Bears sucking though is that all those Rex haters who kept chanting for Greise as if he were the Second Coming, have to finally eat their words.... Yes, Rex doesn't make the greatest decisions but at least he's got a cannon. Greise has the worst of both worlds and because the Bears running game and pass protection are sub-par he just got picked 4 times by the Lions (who gave up 56 pts to DONOVAN-fucking-MCNABB -- wow I wish my caps could have caps on that one).

One final Note: Other than the Saints making a fun late season run and the Pats/Colts game next week there is really no reason to watch any NFL this season... just mark the date of the AFC championship on your calendar and start doing other stuff with your sundays... we all know that the Colts and the Pats will play again on that sunday and that the winner will win the Superbowl.... In fact, now that I think about it, let me be the first to petition to have College Football on Sundays... Either that or have Manning and Brady volunteer to have their achilles tendons sliced so they have to play on crutches... it's for the good of the league guys.